


Behind What

by Ema21



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drama, First Time, KH probably shouldn't tease SN like that..., M/M, Mirror Sex, Romance, SN is highly suggestible, Slash, blame KH's stupid book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 00:28:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17818361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ema21/pseuds/Ema21
Summary: The fake cover on Kihyun's book is a decoy... he's been reading smut? When Hyunwoo discovers this and starts reading his book, his imagination runs so wild, he has trouble keeping it all just in his mind.[written February 2019]





	Behind What

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I wrote this. This is so smutty. hehehe... This came out of nowhere. Oops.
> 
> -Ema, 2019

\---

BEHIND WHAT

\---

 

 _Essays About Theater Practice Through The Decades_ is a book with a very boring plain-text cover which Hyunwoo has seen Kihyun reading from time to time all this year long. He'd always felt a little bad that his friend's university material was so dry. Not that his Economics homework was much better, but at least there weren't so many essays to read.

That's what Hyunwoo thought before the book had sat on a shelf in their dorm bathroom for the last month. Perhaps Kihyun had finished reading it.

As Hyunwoo sits on the toilet for a long #2 today, he finds _Essays About Theater Practice Through The Decades_ and starts flipping through it out of boredom—Usually he'd be on his phone like everyone else while sitting on the can, but he'd forgotten his phone and boooo, this will have to do for the next five minutes—A number of the pages in this book have been doggy-eared and Hyunwoo laughs because this is such a lazy, not-Kihyun thing to do. It makes him wonder for a second if this book really belongs to him, until he actually starts reading a random paragraph and thinks suddenly that maybe he doesn't know Kihyun as well as he'd thought—

Uh... _this is porn_. Just straight-out porn fiction. What the hell?!

He flips the book closed to look more closely at the cover and realizes the front cover is a decoy. The real cover is underneath, and features two "nerdy" type characters, a boy and a girl, but the only thing nerdy about the handsome pair is their thick-rimmed glasses. And the pig-tails on the girl. Other than that, they look very much... engaging. The real title is _Behind Closed Doors_ , and Hyunwoo starts laughing so hard he has to shove a fist in his own mouth to shut up.

Kihyun has been reading porn?! In broad daylight for a year now? And nobody had figured it out?? This is hilarious. This is positively priceless!

He flips back to one of the random doggy-eared pages and starts reading. Of course, this is a smut scene. He flips to another of the folded pages and lo-and-behold another smut scene. He flips through a few more. As far as Hyunwoo can tell, Kihyun has bookmarked all the dirty scenes in this book. Now that, is more of a Kihyun thing to do. Always so organized.

Well, Hyunwoo has a few minutes to burn so he starts off with the first of the bookmarks and starts reading in earnest about the pair of university students who apparently meet for the first time in a library and fuck behind the bookshelves.

And then Hyunwoo sits there, stunned after the characters' climax, his business on the toilet long ago finished and he feels a little queasy, because that had actually been really damn sexy.

He's been here for nearly half an hour, just reading, growing an erection from how Henry had manhandled the new transfer student named Katrina, hiked her up around his waist, held her smaller body against him, run gentle fingers through her bright red hair until she was begging for cock, and then fucked her in the ass against a shelf of Economics textbooks in the back of the library. And holy-fuck, Katrina looked wayyy too much like Kihyun in Hyunwoo's mind. There were too many coincidences. What the fuck. Other than that small hiccup, the scene was _fire_. To the point where Hyunwoo wondered if he should finish jacking off, he was that hard.

He starts reading a second scene. In this one the two students discover they live on the same floor at their dorm and after a few awkward words, they end up secluded in a toilet stall, and because they happen to have a condom this time, Henry can fuck Katrina's pussy, doggy-style, while rubbing her clitoris, as she struggles to keep her moans quiet so as to not wake the other students sleeping. The way the author describes her lean body, and delicate spine, and how tight she is, how hot she is inside, has Hyunwoo's hand on himself working feverishly. He puts the book down after that scene and just keeps the image in his mind as he fists over himself. He hasn't fucked a girl in way too long. He's sure Kihyun is living the same dry spell, so maybe it's not the worst thing in the world to read some porn and find relief. He can see Katrina, with her short red hair and rimmed glasses, looking over her shoulder at him as he thrusts into her, and she's so wet and there's sweat building on both their bodies, and Hyunwoo adds more pressure and friction to his frenulum because he's chasing to come—

" _Hyunwoo! You done yet? Some of us have to pee_ —"

—And he comes all over his fingers, so hard he even drops a bit of it on his briefs and he's stunned. And panting, after a brilliant orgasm.

W-what had Kihyun said? Finish because he needs to pee also?

"Uh—uh, yeah. B-be right out!"

But even as he stumbles over these words, his knees feel weak and he still needs a moment rest to close his eyes.

" _Hurry up and jack off faster_ ," Kihyun grumbles from the hallway but his footsteps walk away.

At least, that's what Hyunwoo thought Kihyun had said. Nonetheless his cheeks and definitely his ears are completely scarlet. It was obvious he was jacking off? How can Kihyun even know such a thing? Did he hear that wrong?

There's too many warring emotions in him right now and they're all making him jittery as he tries to wash up and get out as quickly as possible.

He practically flies to his own bed, thankful to not meet any members on the way, and yes he took Kihyun's book with him—he hides it under his pillow, and rests on top of it now, trying to regain some normal brain function.

There was a little too much of Kihyun mixed in with his masturbation tonight. He tells himself it's just a coincidence. Just because Kihyun has red hair right now, and wore thick glasses like those on the book cover recently, and the fact that it's his book, and he was the one that told Hyunwoo to hurry up, and the fact that he kept reading Katrina as Kihyun because those names are somehow similar... none of that means anything. That's just some really good smut, and Hyunwoo plans on reading more of it as soon as possible.

\---

Honestly, Hyunwoo completely forgets about Kihyun's stupid book until a full week later, when he falls into bed so heavily from exhaustion that he hurts his head on whatever hard thing was under his pillow. He pulls out the book again—he'd slept with this thing under his head all week and hadn't noticed?

That's Hyunwoo for you. Sometimes he's amazed at his own daftness. What would he do without the other members helping to enlighten the world for him? Anyway, now that it's in his hand, and it's not a bad time to jack off, maybe it wouldn't be a bad time to read a little more of this thing as inspiration?

In the scene today, Henry takes Katrina out to dinner first. He skims through the parts where they play footsy and act coy and skips a bit more to the action; in the car, the characters are in the backseat of a taxi and Kihy— _Katrina_ he means, climbs over Henry's growing erection to straddle him. Here she announces that she's not wearing any underwear, and Henry wastes no time unzipping his fly and entering her.

Jeez... how had Kihyun read this thing in public all year and not been walking around with a raging hard-on the whole time? He can see Kihyun with his hands around the male's neck, lip bitten between teeth to keep himself quiet as the taxi-driver pretends he doesn't know the two in the back are fucking. Kihyun arches his back, bouncing carefully in his lap as Hyunwoo holds his small waist, reaching under their clothes to rub him to a high and make him whimper—God, he can practically taste the lust in his mouth as he works a hand over his heavy erection, just enough so he can keep reading.

In another scene Katrina is cleaning when Henry arrives to borrow class notes. Her ass is up in the air trying to reach for something low when Henry comes up behind her and lowers her underwear to finger her—

Maybe Kihyun wants a girl like that? Tidy and studious the way he is. It makes Hyunwoo wonder, if Katrina is like Kihyun, does that mean Kihyun has a naughty side like this also? Does he want to get fucked behind bookshelves in the back of the library?

—Back to having his fingers inside a tight and wet heat, and how Kihyun is begging for more. She looks back over her shoulder, panting, pretty red lips parted, and Hyunwoo can see the profile of her pointy nose as he finger-fucks her roughly. " _Stop teasing me_ ," she says. _"Just fuck me. Please just fuck me_..."

Oh god, he can't read anymore—his groin too tight, he puts all his effort on fisting himself, jacking off just as hard as he'd been fingering Kihyun in the story and in no time he's spilling into his own hand, shuddering as his climax washes over him.

Fuck. This book is so good for making him come. He sits there for minutes later, not ready to clean up, just staring at the ceiling, still imagining Kihyun bent over—and that's when he realizes he'd been imagining Kihyun and not Katrina— _fuckkk_...

His dick jumps at this realization too. There's so many times he's caught the real Kihyun in the kitchen, busy tidying up, ass in the air as he wipes up invisible stains on the floor.

This is so... so wrong. Hyunwoo shakes his head. What has he been thinking?! He's suddenly attracted to Kihyun?

His sleep is uneasy and stuttered that night, and it doesn't help that they have to be up before dawn for a photoshoot.

And he swears this is all turning into a nightmare now because their photoshoot is at a library. Of all the damn places in the world!

Hyunwoo feels drugged or something. He's letting the handlers and managers and hair-makeup ladies just do what they want with him. He doesn't have the energy to actually interact with his environment today.

His mind is on the first scene he'd read, where Hyunwoo has Kihyun's legs around his waist in the Econ section, wondering if it's really that easy to just get inside him—and that's when the real Kihyun sits beside him. He's got a smug look on his face and Hyunwoo is trying to avoid looking at him directly.

"So do you like my book?"

Hyunwoo swallows thickly. He hadn't expected this kind of confrontation. "P-pardon?"

Kihyun eyerolls. "I think you know very well that I have OCD and I'd notice it went missing."

"Right. Uh, yeah."

Kihyun scoffs. Obviously Hyunwoo has it, very likely read a good amount of it too because he's been staring intensely at a corner of the library Kihyun has also been fantasizing about. It looks just like that first scene. Kihyun has no problem finally admitting something a little taboo (he's only been jacking off to the same book for a year); he knows Hyunwoo isn't the judgmental type, especially now that apparently Hyunwoo is into the same fiction as him. It can't hurt to talk a little. Not too much, but Kihyun is bored so why not. It wouldn't be the first awkward conversation between members about how much sex none of them are getting.

"Isn't Katrina ridiculously hot?" Kihyun asks, as he sinks further into his seat and sighs. "I'm pretty sure girls like that don't actually exist though."

Hyunwoo laughs nervously. "Uh, yeah. It's a shame." His mind seriously just asked him, _Isn't Kihyun ridiculously hot?_ He wants to smash his head against a wall to stop thinking this way...

"So you read it?"

"Not all of it," Hyunwoo admits. He's trying fiercely not to look at Kihyun directly as they talk about this. He still needs to detangle Kihyun's moaning during sex from Katrina's. His imagination is mixed up and it's really inconvenient, because he's staring right at a section of books, and he knows how slim Kihyun is. He could pick him right up. He's sitting right there. He could kiss him and run fingers through his red hair, and hold him close, and slip his hand into his underwear and if they were really quiet maybe they really could fuck against those bookshelves...

Oh jeez. That is so wrong.

"Listen, I didn't mean to pry," Kihyun says then, because he notices Hyunwoo's discomfort. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Sorry. You ok?"

"Uh-huh," Hyunwoo nods. Deliberately avoiding Kihyun's eyes, even as Kihyun gets closer to him.

This makes Kihyun frown. "You sure you're ok? You look a little pale." Of course, as soon as Kihyun says this, Hyunwoo's face over-corrects its color until he's blushing foolishly and still averting his eyes from Kihyun, who's starting to find Hyunwoo's behavior childish.

"Are you that shy about this kind of thing?" Kihyun asks. "I'm a little surprised, honestly. Usually nothing gets to you."

"Sorry," Hyunwoo manages to mumble.

The cute way he's hiding his face makes Kihyun take pity on him. Hyunwoo's ears are flaming red, poor boy. Kihyun tsks. "Right. I'll get you some water. Stay here."

Of course, that's the last thing Hyunwoo wants to do. As soon as Kihyun leaves him, he's practically sprinting to the washroom. If only he could splash cold water on his face; but he can't because he hasn't been called to shoot yet, and his makeup artist would be apoplectic if he were stupid enough to intentionally ruin her work.

And where did Kihyun go to get water from? The washroom, of course. He's right there, filling up a water bottle from the tap when Hyunwoo bursts in.

Fuck. He's really stupid, isn't he? He'd come here to get away from Kihyun. Now they're both alone and Kihyun is looking at him curiously.

"Uh," he starts saying, and not even he knows what to do anymore because Hyunwoo's behavior today is getting weirder and weirder. "I said I'd—"

"—I read it. Like, half of it, I think. I'm not sure. Ok, maybe only a handful of scenes," Hyunwoo word-vomits.

Kihyun stares at him for a moment before he starts chuckling. Hyunwoo is always such an odd creature when it comes to social interaction. And so righteous too. He probably thinks he has to admit his sins or something. This wouldn't be the first time his blatant honesty has made a hilarious situation for their group.

"It's ok, we don't have to talk about it. You can keep the book." Kihyun feels like he's talking to a toddler, trying to make peace over a toy. He knows Hyunwoo is more fragile under his exterior than he looks, it's just that usually he's naturally calm. It's odd seeing him flustered like this.

"I wanna keep reading it, but—"

"I said you can keep it," Kihyun interrupts. "Here," and puts the water bottle in Hyunwoo's hands.

"Kihyun, I'm sorry... I feel awkward about this."

This makes Kihyun's head tilt as he smiles, amused that Hyunwoo is so shy and charming about all this. "Have you not, uh, read that kind of stuff before?"

Hyunwoo shakes his head.

"Really? But you've seen porn of course."

"Of course."

"So it's not really that different. Anyway, the book gets better. The scenes get kind of intense though, so uh, just a warning," he laughs. And he can't believe he's saying this out loud to another human being, much less Hyunwoo who's so reserved and proper.

He watches as Hyunwoo drinks a few gulps of water, unsteadily. A few drops escape down his chin and Kihyun wipes it for him. And when they link eyes, Hyunwoo looks... jittery? Is that the right word? His eyes are dark, his fingers look weak as he holds that bottle and Kihyun is starting to wonder what the big deal is about all this. It's just porn. Ok, it's a little awkward to be talking about it—he only brought it up to tease the older member a little, especially since Hyunwoo is always an easy butt of jokes—but he hadn't meant to make him so intensely... awkward?

No, that's still not the right word. Hyunwoo is turned on. Water won't wash it away. They're in a washroom, alone, and he clearly remembers bending Kihyun over and fucking him in that toilet stall right there; and as he looks back at the younger member now is honestly frightened that that image is in his mind.

"Kihyun. I'm sorry—I'm really—I didn't mean to..."

And Kihyun takes him by the hand and sits him down on a toilet lid so he can at least sit, because Hyunwoo looks really strange right now. Like he shouldn't be standing. They're in a stall, both of them together, and this only makes Hyunwoo's fantasy worse.

Hyunwoo makes to reach for his hand again, doesn't want to lose contact, and Kihyun gives him a hand again and gets closer, gets pulled right onto Hyunwoo's lap to straddle him. Yes, this is a little too close for comfort, but Hyunwoo looks hurt somehow, so Kihyun isn't the malicious type to let his friend suffer alone. No matter if he doesn't understand what's going on. When Hyunwoo lets go of his hand, he touches over Kihyun's face this time. And then his hair, until Kihyun complains that the stylist will get mad if he messes it up.

So Hyunwoo's hand rests on his nape then, as he looks into Kihyun's eyes.

He really, actually wants to kiss Kihyun right now. His eyes flicker to his lips for just an instant and he hopes that wasn't blatantly obvious. But god, how had he gotten to this point? Kihyun is pretty, with waves in his hair, a cute pointy nose, and piercing eyes, and his body is light, he's sharp and soft at the same time, and he's feisty—Hyunwoo doesn't even know—he's just _attractive_. So much that he wants to kiss him.

He bites a plump lip into his mouth to keep from doing something that stupid. But Kihyun is still there with him, looking curious and anxious, waiting for him to talk, and the first thing that pops into Hyunwoo's head is, "What's your favorite scene?"—it's out his mouth before he can check himself.

Kihyun's face crumples into a quiet laugh, incredulous that _that's_ what Hyunwoo asks in this moment. That's past awkward. That's funny, he thinks, in a way only Hyunwoo can manage. "Uh... there's this scene later on, not sure if you got there, but he's got her pressed up against a mirror."

"Not there yet," Hyunwoo confirms. And Kihyun chuckles at the fact that they're actually talking about this.

"So what's your favorite scene then?"

"Library scene." Kihyun's eyebrows peak because of course that's what's got Hyunwoo's panties in a twist. Except he keeps talking—"And in the toilets. And backseat. And cleaning scene."

"They didn't do much cleaning," Kihyun snickers.

"I've never done any of that." Hyunwoo says, and it wakes Kihyun up a little. Like, what...? What kind of confession is that?

His eyebrows knit and he treads more gently from now on. Maybe this isn't a laughing matter. "So you want to try that one day, or something?"

Hyunwoo has the inside of his cheek tortured between his teeth, obviously nervous, but he nods.

If this was anyone else besides Hyunwoo, someone who wasn't an awkward robot and knew how to function like normal humans, Kihyun would likely have been put off from this level of TMI. But with Hyunwoo... somehow he was charming. And shy. And Kihyun was getting soft around him, no matter if this situation was awkward as hell.

The corner of his lips turns up kindly. "So... next time you have the opportunity, you should try it," Kihyun winks.

And that's when Hoseok enters, calling—"Hyunwoo~! Hyunwoo, you in here? They wanna shoot you. Don't die before they shoot you!"

Kihyun buckles into a fit of laughter at Hoseok's cheesy humor. "Yeah, yeah, he's coming—"

"—Be right there," Hyunwoo adds hastily. He has to forcibly disregard the words "he's coming", but otherwise, he's better than he was a second ago. His hard dick needs to subside—thankfully he hadn't touched Kihyun with it—but just like that, the spell is broken somehow. Because they have no time for nonsense during work.

Kihyun climbs off him, gives him a hand to stand up also, and though he looks at him a little funny still, the flush over Hyunwoo's cheeks looks a little more like normal.

"Go," he tells him. And practically pushes Hyunwoo out the door.

 _Grandmother. Scorched rainforest. Dead coral reef. Salad with no dressing. Sad puppies_... he manages to deflate his boner by the time he makes it on set. Thankfully he's still professional enough to make it through a photoshoot.

\---

Sometime later that month, they're packing to fly out in a few hours, and Kihyun catches Hyunwoo with his eyes on that book. Their conversation about it has become a private confidence between them. _Essays About Theater Practice Through The Decades_ is sitting right on Hyunwoo's bed, out in the open while they have luggages all over the floor.

Kihyun smirks. "Take it with you," he says, with cheeky eyebrows. "There's a scene somewhere in the middle of the book where they fuck on the plane. It's seriously perfect for long flights."

Hyunwoo turns to him, a little dazed to broach this subject again, but glad they can be normal while talking about something like this. "Oh... yeah?" Still his cheeks color slightly.

Kihyun shrugs knowingly. "There's no sign against jacking off in the toilets."

Hyunwoo's eyes nearly bug out of his head—"The airplane toilets, Kihyun?!" he hisses, immediately picturing Kihyun doing exactly _that_.

The younger just shrugs again, nonchalant as ever. "Take it where you can get it. Imagine you joined the mile-high club, and Katrina is certainly better than your own hand." And though he can tell from Hyunwoo's scandalized face that that comment was probably TMI, he's prideful enough to scoff and snap back, "Oh don't give me that look—Like you and every other person alive has never wanted to fuck on a plane."

Somehow, slowly, Hyunwoo is getting used to having this weird secret between them. He hides his face and nods, and does what Kihyun suggested.

\---

In the airplane toilet with his hand on his dick, he's not even trying to keep Kihyun out of his mind when he reads the porn book now. It results in a powerful orgasm, and he'll probably never look at airplane toilets the same way ever again.

He's still shivery as he gets back to his seat afterwards, and Kihyun looks at him smugly, knowing full well what Hyunwoo has just done. Hyunwoo swears he can still feel Kihyun against his skin... His body tingles when their eyes meet—a feeling he'll obviously keep to himself—but the fact that Kihyun is almost encouraging him... Hyunwoo isn't sure whether to be thankful or turned on or what. He doesn't understand why Kihyun is so cool with this.

Kihyun is happy to have a partner in crime, that's why. Plus, whether it's right or wrong, he's indulging in this apparent new power over Hyunwoo. "It's good, right?"

"So good," Hyunwoo admits as he settles into his seat, and it makes Kihyun smile. Like, I told you so. Kihyun loves saying "I told you so". He smiles because he knows exactly how Hyunwoo feels right now. (He'd done the same thing several times this year also.) But with Hyunwoo, it's like it's written on his face, he looks that content, and in return, that makes Kihyun giddy and proud. He watches as Hyunwoo melts into the cushions and in a weird way he feels the same sense of release.

Though Hyunwoo feels Kihyun's eyes on him, the predominant feeling is that his body is jelly... and he's not moving for rest of the flight.

He does however, read more of the book on the way from the airport to the hotel.

\---

Monsta X were relaxing on chaises at the hotel pool barely a few days later. It's a small reprieve during a hectic promotions schedule, and Hyunwoo and Kihyun have spent the last hour watching their more rambunctious members frolic in the water; splashing, racing a few laps and betting who will win, behaving like actual children while their parents watched. Neither Hyunwoo or Kihyun had gotten in the water yet. When the others left, they took Hyungwon with them—the only other member who hadn't gotten in the pool because he'd fallen asleep on the chaise-lounge to Kihyun's side—and now it's just the two of them left.

They've been staring at the ripples in the water for the last five minutes.

"Have you gotten to the part where they fuck in the pool?" Kihyun asks out of the blue. Because that's where his mind is right now. The fact that Hyunwoo is reading that same book is making it all come back to him.

"Yes," Hyunwoo sighs. "Another one of the many scenes we'll never get to live."

Kihyun nods. "Sometimes I feel like just taking one of our fans and—"

"—Hell! Don't do that!—" Hyunwoo looks at him suddenly.

"—I know I can't actually! Ugh. I'm not stupid," Kihyun huffs. Except Hyunwoo hadn't said it out of propriety but out of jealousy, and instantly feels guilty. He turns back around to lick his own wounds privately. _Kihyun isn't his_ , he reminds himself. If he's professional, Kihyun can fuck whoever he wants, he reminds himself. He'd forgotten Kihyun was talking for a moment, but his attention is arrested again at Kihyun's next words: "I'm fucking starving for a good fuck though." And that's something he never thought he'd ever hear Kihyun say. Not like that. There's desire dripping from his tone. Hyunwoo swallows uneasily and doesn't dare meet Kihyun's eyes right now. "...Just the fact that I can say this type of shit feels like a weight off my shoulders, you know? If we can't fuck, at least we can talk about fucking."

Hyunwoo feels paralyzed to hear that kind of thing. Of course, what he's saying is bordering on profane—which is unusual for a usually buttoned-up Kihyun—but it's _how_ he says it. Hyunwoo wants to bleach his ears because he knows Kihyun is talking about fucking other people, but to his twisted brain it sounds like Kihyun is talking about them _together_. His mind runs away with this thought and he's straining in his pants before he knows it. He's trying so hard to keep it together... but since Kihyun is talking about this, then it makes him bold. "...So, uh, how would you want it?"

Kihyun smirks. "Read the mirror scene and you'll know."

Hyunwoo chances a look at him and catches Kihyun with a quirked and challenging eyebrow.

Surely they're lost in time now. This conversation doesn't feel real. It's all too graphic... inhibitions having drifted away on the water maybe... Because Hyunwoo doesn't act like this and nor does Kihyun. But a break from real life is what Kihyun desperately wants, and Hyunwoo has been giving that to him lately.

"Always knew you were a narcissist," Hyunwoo feels spirited enough to joke. He's laying on his side, giving all his attention to Kihyun now.

"A little," Kihyun laughs. "But I just like seeing my partner. It gets me higher," he admits as he folds his elbows behind his head like a pillow. His eyes are staring right into Hyunwoo's.

Hyunwoo's dick is throbbing from Kihyun's words, and his mouth can't decide if it's a desert or rainforest. Still, he doesn't even think before the next words leave him—"What else?"

"What else what?"

"What else do you like?"

"You want fuel to the fire?" Kihyun looks so smug. "Didn't know you were like that," he laughs. "Ok, I'll tell you." And sits back more comfortably in his chair, pausing to think of what parts of his fantasies and desires he wants to share. He's no longer watching Hyunwoo. He knows Hyunwoo is lapping up all the shit he can say right now. It seriously makes him feel powerful, and though the emotion feels like venom, he's indulging it right now because he so seldom gets to. It's just good to be bad sometimes. So he thinks of how best to tease Hyunwoo...

"I wanna try anal."—Hyunwoo chokes. "—Fuck," Kihyun is laughing instantly at his reaction. "Shit, I only said it because I knew you'd go crazy. Jeez, here, calm down," he pets at Hyunwoo with a pacifying hand and passes him a water bottle. Hyunwoo's face is completely red as he struggles to look up at him. It's charming, and Kihyun is satisfied with the damage as he sits back down. "I was only half kidding though," he continues saying. He shouldn't be so forward, but damn it feels good to let loose and just say whatever. "I like a little adventure. Probably why that book turns me on so much, because they fuck in all kinds of different places."

He's still watching Kihyun, lips bitten in agony, shy to be listening to that kind of talk. And again, Hyunwoo needs to remind himself that Kihyun means _giving_ , not receiving anal. But bloody hell, he'll come in his pants at this rate. He tries to keep it cool, no matter what's in his brain.

"You? Adventure?" he jokes.

"What?" Kihyun clips in return. "You think all I do is missionary?"

"N-nothing. I didn't mean it that way."

"Well go on then. Your turn. What gets your rocks off?"

Kihyun is playing with him now, they both know it. But Hyunwoo's dick is throbbing from this illicit feeling. His first thought is " _You_ ". It's loud and it's knocking all the other sense out of his head. He really wants to just say it, like a slap right back, but he still knows that's too far. He sighs, but willingly takes the bait and continues down this dark path.

"Uh, s-someone smaller than me," he replies. It's still the truth. "I wanna hold them close... during..." he explains. His eyes flicker away from Kihyun for a moment. Hyunwoo is still shy, even now. He doesn't need to finish his sentence to be understood.

Kihyun is unrelenting however. "Keep talking," he urges greedily. And closes his eyes, hoping Hyunwoo will tell him a story. Something good he can jack off to later.

Hyunwoo falls in line. Because he's following Kihyun's carrot on a stick. "Uh, well... I don't know what to say. I'm not very spontaneous. As much as I'd like to be. I take it pretty slow."

"Tell me more, like, the best. What you'd do if you could."

"Greatest fantasy?" Hyunwoo asks, uneasy, but getting braver. Kihyun nods. "I don't know. I haven't read the mirror scene yet."—Oops, too brave. That had been super inappropriate. Luckily Kihyun had only chuckled. And probably not caught Hyunwoo's real meaning. He's still waiting for Hyunwoo to tell him a longer story. "Uh. I guess I like what my partner likes," Hyunwoo submits, eyes downcast. As if that wasn't admitting exactly that he wants whatever Kihyun wants.

"Don't be a pussy. Tell me something real."

On the edge of a precipice, where Kihyun has led him... Here goes nothing:

"I like that first push in," Hyunwoo says. His mouth feels like it's full of cotton balls, but he'll keep talking. "...The first slide when it's so tight, and the look on their face as they get adjusted." The more he says, the easier it gets. "I love their mouth, parted in pleasure. I like seeing their fingers curl and how they bare their neck, and I like kissing up their shoulder into their hair, and—" And he's watching Kihyun's reactions now. His heartrate is elevated...

"Just tell me, hard or slow?"

"Slow. And tight." He's watching the way Kihyun almost arches at his words, and maybe this is all worth it to see just that... "Flush against my body. Just put a leg up and let me get inside until there's no space between us."

"That... that sounds so good," Kihyun breathes.

Kihyun's eyes are closed, a hand with white knuckles clamped to the edge of his chair. Hyunwoo can't look away from him but he also can't say more because it would be so inappropriate. Way past everything already...

He swallows thickly, and points out something he's been staring at for what feels like minutes now. "Ki. You're hard." Somehow this moment needs to end, even he knows that. This is some kind of ending, he hopes.

Kihyun's eyes flutter open, stunned for a second. He looks over at Hyunwoo, on the edge of his seat, chest rising as if he'd run a marathon and he knows they've stepped over a line here. He looks away, gets up as normally as he can, even without explanation, but he needs to move. Can't stay there. Kihyun gets in the water finally, to try to cool off.

Hyunwoo follows him as if they're attached by a string.

No matter if they wanted to end this chase between them, it hasn't ended. Hyunwoo's eyes won't leave him, and now Kihyun is fully wet... Hyunwoo is drawn near.

The water around them isn't cold. It's scorching...

Kihyun is soaking and attractive and turned on also...

"Ki, I read the pool scene," Hyunwoo says. He's coming closer still. "This is just like it."

Kihyun's eyes go wide. He can barely look at Hyunwoo now. Shit, what has he done?!

Hyunwoo's presence is boring into him. He takes a step back.

"I wanna tell you something, but I really shouldn't."

"Tell me anyway." Fuck, Kihyun, why are you saying something like that?! Kihyun is sure this, whatever this is, is getting unmanageable. It's leading somewhere, isn't it?

"You're really gonna hate me."

"And why would that be?"

"Because it's kind of about you."

"How?" Kihyun can't stop. Past his skepticism is a burning curiosity. 

"I-I... I've been thinking about you."

Curiosity killed the cat.

"W-what about me?" Kihyun is sure he knows already. It's terrifying.

Hyunwoo swallows down his nerves and closes his eyes. Ok, he'll say it. "I've been thinking _about you_."

The reply takes forever, and even when it comes, it's a vague question. "Like...?"

Please, this one time, please don't be what he thinks it is, Kihyun prays...

"Yeah," is all Hyunwoo can say. He's shaking. And somehow all these additional nerves, and the fact that he has his eyes squeezed tight and isn't looking at the world and consequences outside his own mind, this loosens his lips to the point that he's saying, "I'll do anything you want with you. If—if you want. I'm sorry—I didn't mean to—it just happened—" Mid-sentence he's suddenly frantic in his apology. Because even as these words tumbled out of his mouth, he knows they're so so so wrong. He just needs to get it out there because it's been eating him alive and it's not fair to Kihyun who's a friend. This isn't how you treat friends. He just needs to stop lying.

He doesn't dare open his eyes, not even to see Kihyun's reaction to the blasphemy he's just uttered.

The air stills between them and fire ignites in Kihyun. He'd missed half of Hyunwoo's mangled words, but he'd caught the part about him... being interested? In more?

Fuck, Kihyun's body feels ready to implode.

He fights it. He knows it's wrong.

He watches Hyunwoo; frozen, scared stiff of his own admission, waiting.

Kihyun swears there's fire in his veins. No other way to describe why he's so restless and ready to smash everything that's real—

Probably the last thing Hyunwoo expected Kihyun to do was kiss him. But in two steps, Kihyun is covering his eyes with a hand, so even if Hyunwoo desperately wants to look at him now, he can't, but he's right there, right against his lips. His lips are hot, his breath hotter, and his hands burn where they touch him. And into this searing kiss, Kihyun says, "Read the mirror scene and then come to my room. Wake me up if you have to. Ok?" Right against his lips.

Hyunwoo is paralyzed in shock. Even when Kihyun lets him go, he doesn't open his eyes. He's too scared.

In the middle of that hotel pool... it feels like an hour later that Hyunwoo releases the breath he'd been holding.

He's alone now.

\---

Fuck everything. What is there to think about anymore?

The mirror scene—the mirror scene—the mirror scene—he's flipping through pages frantically to find it!—Here!

It starts with Henry eating her out until she's a moaning mess, then traveling hungry kisses up her body, until she tries running away for some reason—he's really missing all the actual plot of this story—and he catches her, nearly slams her head against a mirror and pins her there, flush against his body. Brings her hands up to hold above so she can't escape, and at the same time plunges two fingers into her. She cries out, but in the next sentence he's sheathed inside her—she's dripping wet around his cock and starts begging for more. Hyunwoo has no idea what this is. Is this rape or role play? or fuck—all he knows is this is fucking hot and this is Kihyun's favorite fantasy and he's so stuck right now. What had Kihyun _meant_? What's supposed to happen if he goes to his room tonight?

He can't even finish—can't wait to have his hands on Kihyun. Rational brain function has been shattered. He meets Minhyuk in the hallway and sprints past him, even as the younger calls after him that, "Kihyun said he wants to be alone tonight, not sure if—" But Hyunwoo doesn't hear the end of it, he's banging on Kihyun's door already. Kihyun pulls him inside by the collar and pushes him up against the door as soon as it's closed behind them, trapping Hyunwoo in a toe-curling kiss. Hyunwoo is pretty sure neither of them are thinking clearly right now.

This is completely fucked up. He groans back into Kihyun's mouth and starts pushing him backwards, not so gently. Backwards until Kihyun's legs hit the bed and Hyunwoo pushes him down that too and climbs over him. He's kissing like he's never kissed someone before, grabbing and pulling at Kihyun's lithe body to bring them closer, chasing his mouth and tongue, bringing their groins together, and it's finally ok if Kihyun can feel all the lust and hunger he's pent up. It's seeping out of him from every pore, making him tremble.

"Fuck, you really want me, don't you?" Kihyun says, eyes wide and already panting, surprised to have Hyunwoo so ravenous. He's never seen him this way before, not even when he dances.

Everything is spinning out of control. It doesn't matter anymore how wrong it is to admit these kinds of things.

"I've really wanted you since I found your stupid book. You've been driving me insane." Hyunwoo is breathing heavy, his eyes black, and goes diving into Kihyun's neck with wet lips. Kihyun tastes like sin. "Take clothes off. Let me get between your legs," he urges, words formed right under Kihyun's ear.

This isn't any way that Kihyun ever thought he'd be entwined with another member. Even in the moment now, his heart is racing to jump out of his throat, but having Hyunwoo all over him is working magic. He's falling loose and every propriety he's ever felt the need to uphold is dissolving into thin air. He'd teased Hyunwoo. He'd egged him on. He wanted something bad. Something extraordinary. Isn't that what he wanted? It was his book. Even if Hyunwoo found it, they didn't have to actually talk about it. Kihyun could have blushed like a normal person and apologized. But he didn't.

This is reckless but it's liberating as fuck. Hyunwoo won't judge him. Hyunwoo cares for him. Hyunwoo is trustworthy and kind and real. Hyunwoo might be the wrong person to do this with, but in another way he's perfect.

His mouth is running over whatever skin of Kihyun's he can reach, hands pushing at Kihyun's clothes until Kihyun helps him out: sheds his own t-shirt and pants, leaving him naked, and Hyunwoo hurries to follow.

Naked together now. Thrusting against each other, erections tight between their bodies. Building friction. Hyunwoo is commanding and skillful in his fervor—Kihyun lets himself fall with him, kiss, rub, roll together. God, it feels better than anything else. He feels wanted and sexy, the way Hyunwoo is treating him. He's got a friend, between his legs, and undeniably wants more. He can hear his own blood rushing in his ears in this moment.

Somewhere in the back of Kihyun's mind is still a voice screaming at him that he's about to have sex with a _man_ , and yet if he just lets Hyunwoo, he'll have all the sexual release he's ever dreamt of. As if Hyunwoo can hear his thoughts, he's moving further down his body, worshiping him, fingers dipping into all his sensitive curves, soothing all his edges. Kihyun can't help watch him. He's trying to reclaim his own breathing, to regain a sense of reality. And also crush that last bit of objection in the back of his brain.

Of course he's not supposed to be sleeping with Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo isn't supposed to be kissing the inside of his thighs either, and he isn't supposed to be pushing his legs farther apart, hand rubbing over his shaft, so Kihyun has to bite his own lip to keep in a moan... But Kihyun is definitely going to let him at this point. His thighs are already trembling. He wants everything now. He's sure neither of them have been laid in way more than months and by the look of it he'd be turning down a fantastic fuck. Even if it's new and different and still weird as hell. As he looks down at Hyunwoo, he feels like a virgin suddenly because he's never been on the receiving end of this—hasn't even fucked a girl in the ass before—he needs to stop thinking of what hasn't even happened yet or else nerves will kill him—and yet there's Hyunwoo on his knees for him. That's a sight he never thought he'd ever see. And definitely never wanted to see before now. Just tonight. Just one time.

Hyunwoo takes him in his mouth and Kihyun arches violently, whimpering, and Hyunwoo holds him steady so he can suck him further. Kihyun can't look down anymore. His fingers are itching to clutch and unclutch, tension building inside him and Hyunwoo is sucking him and holding him captive beneath his tongue. This is his friend on him, giving him this toe-curling pleasure, and he swears he's just trying to live through it. How does Hyunwoo know how to give a blowjob anyway? His hand fisted below his mouth, tongue lapping hard on the sensitive underside of the head, bobbing on him like they were fucking already... Hyunwoo _knows_ how to give a blowjob.

This is too much. He touches Hyunwoo's forehead and he pops off, lips red and wet in the aftermath. A string of saliva still connected to the head of Kihyun's cock as their eyes meet. It's enough for him to know that Kihyun is still with him, so he touches lower between his legs and feels wetness. There.

Oh.

Kihyun is slippery there. Glistening when Hyunwoo takes a better look at him.

"Are you—wet?" More like, _why are you wet?_

Instead of answering an inevitable yes, Kihyun looks away, pulling a self-conscious lip between his teeth and suddenly needy to hide the embarrassment on his cheeks.

Hyunwoo drags a gentle finger over his entrance, in awe of him, his lust redoubled at seeing Kihyun this exposed, and Kihyun mewls. But Kihyun also bucks away from his hold, unused to being touched there. He doesn't want to admit that he'd put fingers up himself just a few moments ago, just to get a bit of lube up there so it would be easy to take... Umph. He can't say it. Barely even to himself, what he wants. But he wants it.

He's pushed Hyunwoo off him and he's backing away, across the room now, looking back at him in the eyes, as Hyunwoo follows him once more. They're still attached as if by magnets. There's sincerity mixed with lust and something Earth-shattering in Hyunwoo's gaze.

"Kihyun, what do you want? Hmm?"

He'd had his mouth on Kihyun's cock—something obscene and unimaginable before this—but he'll give Kihyun anything from now on.

Kihyun bites his bottom lip to the point that it hurts. He really can't say this with words. But he's reached backwards until he's touching the mirror now and that's all the clue he can give. Many hotels come with large full-length mirrors—a cheap trick to make the room look bigger—and probably Kihyun knew this already, that this room has one too, right there, beneath his fingers, as he looks back at Hyunwoo with dark eyes, imploring that he read his mind.

Hyunwoo is looking at him like he's a meal, as he steps towards Kihyun.

"I don't understand what that scene was. I didn't read any of the plot parts so it made no sense to me," Hyunwoo says, but he's coming closer still, and in the last moment, Kihyun flips to his front with a heavy breath that makes the glass fog where it lands. He's got his own body against it, cheek against the cold mirror, waiting those last few centimeters for Hyunwoo to press up behind him. His eyes are closed for a moment as he waits. He can't possibly answer Hyunwoo with words, but he's shaking from how much he wants this fantasy fulfilled.

Maybe he wasn't supposed to be bottoming—no, up until a few hours ago that hadn't been part of this at all; he wasn't supposed to be the girl—but this takes his breath away. He's giving up control when it was supposed to be exactly the opposite. This anticipation is making his skin so sensitive he feels tears line his eyelashes the moment Hyunwoo's fingertips reach him.

Hyunwoo takes it easy with him at first. Runs a hand through his hair and down his side, as he steps in closer. The heat of his body, flush against his back now makes Kihyun blink, but he settles on keeping his eyes closed as Hyunwoo continues touching him.

Hyunwoo feels down his arms, caressing him, making sure he understands he doesn't want to be rough with him, not really. Kihyun's breathing is still erratic, his cheek against the glass and hair falling into his eyes. He makes a vague motion as if urging Hyunwoo to tell him where to place his hands; which Hyunwoo understands—takes him by the wrists and drags his hands up, so Kihyun has them spread, palms flat on the mirror, where Hyunwoo is sure Kihyun had intended. Like electricity this sick feeling prickles down his spine, but the truth is he's building himself up, just being here like this. This position is sinful. Debauched even, but it's a step forward, and Kihyun wants it, even as his heart is somewhere in his throat for sure. Hyunwoo pets along his sides again, and Kihyun keeps his arms up and wide; body quivering, knees weak.

Hyunwoo gently kisses him under the ear and says, "Easy, easy, ok? I have you."

Kihyun whimpers and his eyes flicker open finally. Hyunwoo kisses his cheek and down his neck to calm him. Then softly across his shoulder. "We can do whatever you want." He touches down Kihyun's body, raising goosebumps as he goes but Kihyun feels it like fire. His hands are firm as they grab Kihyun by the hips and pull him back onto his dick. So he can feel him too. How hard he is, how much he wants him. His length is pressed against the small of Kihyun's back, as he rubs himself against the smaller male; and though he's not sure what kind of pleasure Kihyun is deriving from this, he moans and it gives Hyunwoo the impetus to grab him by the thigh to lift him just enough to rub his dick over his hole—which is indeed slippery though he's again not sure why. This is making his mouth water. Kihyun is so fuckable, so available and submissive right now. His dick sliding between his ass is sweet torture. They're so close to fucking, he can taste it. "Kihyun, tell me. C'mon," Hyunwoo pleads. This isn't a scene from a book, this is his friend, they're both obviously turned on, but he needs to know Kihyun really wants this.

A rattling and deep breath shakes Kihyun's body as he steadies himself. He feels fragile like never before, yet he gives Hyunwoo a confident look over his shoulder and presses back onto him to feel that hardness against him again.

Kihyun doesn't say anything, but he nods, and helps Hyunwoo hold him up somewhat so he can press his head against that little pucker. Hyunwoo rubs a little more here, spreading the lube Kihyun has dipped within himself, reaffirming that they're really doing this, until he feels Kihyun loosen up for him, and finally presses in.

Oh... oh fuck, this is so tight. "Relax," he tells Kihyun, though both their eyes are blown wide. "Please relax." And surprisingly, Kihyun does relax to some extent. "Is this ok?"

Kihyun trembles and only nods more. He's pressed against the mirror, his own full dick trapped against the glass, Hyunwoo behind him, holding his leg up with a hand hooked under his knee, strong enough to nearly lift his whole body off the ground because Kihyun is on tip-toes and the only way down has him sinking deeper on Hyunwoo's dick—Fuck, that is so tight. He tries to relax more, and pushes back off the mirror to gain a little more room to breathe.

Finally, as their eyes lock in the mirror, Kihyun says something. "Am I good?"

"So good. You feel incredible," Hyunwoo tells him. He gives Kihyun's hipbones a good squeeze as he bottoms out. Then waits here a moment and kisses along Kihyun's shoulder. Again, their eyes meet. Kihyun can't look away from them now, transfixed at this image.

There they are, together, naked, as Kihyun braces two hands in front of him and Hyunwoo guides him, a little up and then back down, slow, but further onto his dick. His thrusts start shallow, unsure how to move yet, but then Kihyun's head hangs down and he just nods again. "You can move like normal. I think I'm fine."

This was Kihyun's fantasy, wasn't it? Fucking against a mirror so he can see his partner? That image has been completely replaced by whatever this is. This has his insides twisted in knots, a tightness in his groin building even before Hyunwoo is really fucking him. That pressure against his prostate as he moves is like nothing he's ever felt before; it's deeper, not concentrated like if he'd been jacking off. It's like, every little movement Hyunwoo makes inside him is amplified and ripples through his body. He realizes that he needs to breathe through this.

The way Hyunwoo is rocking into him is fluid now but he still feels incredibly full, and he's sure this feeling won't fade. It's only intensifying, especially as Hyunwoo angles his hips and fucks him harder, each drive forward like a rush to his virgin prostate, and he can't believe he never considered this part of the act. It's mollifying to his senses and heightening at the same time, and he wants it harder. He nods and moans and Hyunwoo understands. Harder means he can feel the drag against his walls, against his sphincter, more pronounced; and though he tries to relax and take it, it's a pleasant sort of pain. He lets out a string of moans that he can no longer hold in, and braces himself as well as he can. "Fuck Hyunwoo... fuck me, seriously."

Hyunwoo studies him for a moment, but adjusts his grip on Kihyun's hips and gives him what he wants. Kihyun's reply is a ragged whimper as he lets go of one hand from the mirror to fist over himself instead... He's really never felt this before. Double the stimulation has him panting with every breath.

"Look at us. You wanted to see it, right?" Hyunwoo tells him. His lips are parted, jaw clenched when their eyes meet. He's been staring at Kihyun this whole time and it's the most erotic thing he's ever seen.

"N-not exactly what I thought I'd see," Kihyun moans, a small scoff following his words to show his disbelief at this situation still. Then he drops their gaze to focus on tugging himself in time to how Hyunwoo fucks him. This is so much more than he ever expected. He doesn't even need to touch himself. When his hand stills, it's as if Hyunwoo can read his mind—he grabs him forcefully and drives him forward. Kihyun falters and lands flat in the mirror again. A shocked and pathetic whine escapes his trembling lips from the force of impact. His hips kissing the glass again, where he can no longer touch himself, but this doesn't even matter because the way he's trapped now makes the pressure inside him build to a maddening extent. Everything is so tight he feels like there's barely any air. Even his lungs are tight; heart shoved in a clamp; throat as if someone was stepping on his windpipe. Hyunwoo's breaths are in his ear, rough, as each trust gets him deeper, and it has Kihyun nearly crying.

"How does it end?" Hyunwoo asks him, so close between them it's mostly air. "I couldn't read to the end, my mind was going crazy already—"

Kihyun closes his eyes a second, so he can gather enough strength to actually speak. "He comes in her," he says. But his voice is strained and shaky, and he can't believe any of this... "A-and then licks it off her."

"You are so nasty."

Hyunwoo's reply rattles in his brain. "I—I'm clean. Inside. I promise—" Kihyun practically sobs. "Please. Come with me... ok?"

Hyunwoo nods and kisses his neck briefly. Ok, same time. And it needs to happen soon because Kihyun can feel his legs shake with how much he needs to come. His dick is pressed on glass—it's no longer cold. Everything is hot and his hair is damp with sweat and Hyunwoo looks like he'd never dried off after swimming—"Fuck—I'm ah—!"

He's shoved forward painfully, Hyunwoo's last thrusts fucking him into the mirror with no room to breathe much less move, and when his jaw and hipbones hit the glass at the same time, Kihyun is coming—everything was too much. He lets the heat consume him, every muscle contracting and for a moment everything is white—and then he's shaking. Tremoring. Quaking, on Hyunwoo's dick as the elder is panting in his ear, clammy heat on his neck, and riding Kihyun's ass through the last shocks of his orgasm.

Until they both still, resting against the glass and Hyunwoo holds Kihyun fixed. And it's a good thing because Kihyun's knees surely won't hold him anymore. Not after that.

His knees buckle and Hyunwoo pulls out of him—oh shit, he can really feel liquid there, can feel come slip out of him as he clenches on nothing, and how it drips slowly down the inside of his thighs now that Hyunwoo's cock is missing from his ass. A shiver runs up his spine but he's got no time to ponder this—Hyunwoo rips him away from the mirror that had become his lifeline, and in the next second, Kihyun is face-down in pillows, ass in the air, with Hyunwoo behind him—and then Hyunwoo's tongue on his hole—and fucking _hell_!

Kihyun recoils from the sensation but Hyunwoo pins him to the bed, using strength Kihyun doesn't have. Again he laps at Kihyun's fucked out asshole and Kihyun quivers and wails and it's the scariest and hottest thing he's ever felt. That tongue licks up the inside of his thighs, and he can feel Hyunwoo's breaths between his legs, and it doesn't stop until Kihyun is clean; no matter how much Kihyun clenches his muscles helplessly, pushing more semen from himself, Hyunwoo eats it all from him.

Kihyun feels boneless afterwards. There's tears on his face and he has no idea how they got there.

Hyunwoo is spooned behind him, carding gentle fingers through his hair, and holding his waist.

"You ok?" he speaks softly into his neck.

Kihyun moans—it's still the only sound that comes naturally to him in the moment. Then he collects a few thoughts, and says, "Not sure." He sighs, taking a deeper breath finally. Strangely, it feels like there's an anvil lifted off him. "I mean, actually, I'm ok."

"Yeah?" Hyunwoo asks, unsure.

Kihyun turns to face him then, tangles their limbs together to keep his friend close. Gone is that intense gaze Hyunwoo wore in the middle of their sex. Now he's docile and fragile and apparently needs Kihyun to tell him everything is ok, because Hyunwoo is always a little lost then it comes to feelings. "It was good. It was intense," Kihyun tells him.

Hyunwoo nods. "So intense," he repeats with a small voice, fingers trailing down Kihyun's shoulder now. His jaw is tight, and he swallows thickly to pacify his nerves. "Scary, Kihyun. Scary."

"Yeah?" Kihyun moves closer; fingers knitting on Hyunwoo's nape, as he leans in to kiss his lips. Their mouths linger together. "Me too," he admits. "Thank you for holding me." He moves down again, to curl his face in Hyunwoo's chest, and breathe more steadily now. "I feel stupid about this, but you were so good..."

"Stupid?" Hyunwoo's lungs constrict, "—No. No. I started this. I shouldn't have—"

Kihyun cuts him off with a hand over his mouth, and he's looking right in his eyes again. Damn, he had wanted to stay pressed together a little longer. "My fault. Not yours. I pushed this."

When he releases Hyunwoo's mouth and gets up, Hyunwoo frowns and instantly pulls him back by the wrist. Kihyun is actually surprised to have Hyunwoo be so forward again by not letting him leave. "Kihyun. Let me say this, because otherwise I don't know when else I can say this..." His eyes are kind but steady. "I've wanted you ever since I touched that book," he says. "I've jacked off to the thought of you all month and I know it's crazy, but I guess it is what it is. I'm not saying I want anything from you, I'm not asking you for anything, but... I'm just saying I think of you—that way—now."

It takes Kihyun a while to answer. He's busy studying Hyunwoo's solemn face and sorting all the new feelings in his heart, all the new experiences and thoughts in his brain. When it all comes down to it, maybe he shouldn't be so bashful or standoffish about this. He doesn't have to run away. Hyunwoo has his heart on a platter and it would only hurt both of them to lie.

He chews the inside of his cheek for a last moment before offering, "You... want to do this again sometime?"

Hyunwoo's features soften. "Let's not make a habit out of it, but if you want to do this again, I want to also," he says. Even with that soft expression on his face, he manages to say. "I wanna taste every part of you. I like your body. Seriously." He's so sincere that Kihyun understands him instantly and can't fault him for feelings that just somehow got dumped in their lap. Anyone else he would have chucked out a window, but Hyunwoo... Ok. They can share this. It can be their secret. It doesn't need to be more, but having this as an option is... nice. Comforting.

"Ok," Kihyun replies, also softly.

"And maybe tell me what it felt like for you... You know, like that." Hyunwoo's ears are red again. Always curious like a kid.

Kihyun smiles. "Intense." And then chuckles and falls back into Hyunwoo's arms to rest a while longer like he'd wanted. It's ok that they're naked. They can do this now. "I never imagined." They can talk about this now.

Now that they've broken so many barriers.

Hyunwoo titters like a five-year-old. "Me neither."

Some of Kihyun's charisma flows back into his veins. Because as intense as everything has been, it feels pleasantly easy falling back into friendship and he's so grateful for it. So grateful for Hyunwoo and how good he is, always. It's starting to settle in that they're gonna be fine. And maybe they can joke about this too:

"You gonna finish reading that book?"

"Can we act out the rest of the scenes?" comes Hyunwoo's snappy reply.

They both laugh.

Ok, so Kihyun liked bottoming. But maybe not that much. He grumbles, "Maybe." And Hyunwoo laughs harder. "Like, we can't fuck around anywhere that would get us in trouble."

"Agreed."

And Hyunwoo kisses his hair.

Everything is ok. Somehow.

\---

 

THE END.

 


End file.
